10

Said coffee shall be free.

11

Servith one bag, and one bag only, of quality beans — no more, no less — and weighed between 8.3 and 16.6 uncias.

12

The coffee shall be black in nature, and only black, for additives dilute this ambrosia and muddy the palate.

13

When said bag has depleted, no more coffee shall flowith.

14

Thou cups shall be of ceramic in nature, and may be taken home by the patron.

15

Thine water shall be distilled, and correct proportions of minerality added unto it, for water is holy.

16

Store ye water in glass jugs of soda-lime compounds, as the microplastic devil has no dwelling here.

17

Ye shall use quality brewing gear.

18

A V60 shall be your brewer.

19

Thine grinder shall be of hand, for a connection to the Bean is essential.

20

Techniques gleaned from the archangel James Hoffmann will be used.

21

Ye shall produce said elixir powered by an electric carriage, so no damage shall be done to Gaia.

22

Children shall enjoyeth a chosen healthy beverage.

23

For those averse to our glorious bean (may it be grown with reverence), we shall channel Jean-Luc Picard: tea, Earl Grey, hot.

24

Ban ye monetary exchanges, for this new community shall be based first and foremost on generosity and friendship.

25

Ye shall clean the land of refuse and return it to a natural state.

26

No services or products produced by a billionaire shall be used, nor those that monetize personal information.

27

Ban ye the dreaded, eternal, and toxic to-go vessel.

28

Media of Social may be used by the prophet (again, not religious or whatever) but only to announce a time and location.

29

None shall be “followed,” for only the true believers will find their way.

30

A presence on the series of Tubes shall display these words for all to read.

31

Personal mugs shall be verboten.

32

The faithful may, if they so choose, donate one and only one ceramic mug, and it must be used by others.

33

Said mug shall be accepted, but only if ridiculous in nature and the tribe agrees it is good.